To my
experience, unclear papers are mainly—but not exclusively—due to the following
ten factors:
Overall lack of organization.
Papers lacking overall logical coherency are usually due to the writer
not bothering with an outline first. Write an outline! Re-read "Writing
Philosophy."
Poor
transitions—or none at all. A paper with poor or no transitions
has no sense of flow or direction, and is a jarring experience for the
reader. Use appropriate transitions to guide the reader smoothly through
the logical development of your ideas.
Lengthy, awkward sentences.
The point is to clarify, not confuse. Write short, powerful sentences
that get your point across cleanly. Be concise!
Poor syntax. Sentences
that make the reader go "huh?" usually contain poor syntax,
the ungrammatical arrangement of words, phrases, and clauses. Grammatical
units need to be in the proper order. Also watch for "dropped"
words (words inadvertently omitted or deleted).
Run-on sentences
and comma splices. A run-on
sentence (also called a fused
sentence) is when two sentences or independent
clauses are run together without punctuation. A comma
splice occurs when two sentences are linked with only a comma.
These problems are often due to the misuse of commas. Commas should not
just be tossed at the page after you have written words on it. There are
rules
for where they should be placed.
Sentence fragments.
A sentence
fragment is only a part of a sentence. A sentence must contain
at least one full independent
clause. A full independent clause has both a subject and a verb.
A sentence fragment is missing one or the other. A fragment is repaired
by either pulling it into a nearby sentence or by turning it into a sentence.
How would you fix the following fragment? "Socrates walked through
the marketplace. Listening hard for snatches of
philosophical conversation."
Ambiguous relationship
between antecedents and pronouns. A pronoun
refers to or replaces a noun, noun phrase, or previously mentioned pronoun.
The word the pronoun
replaces is known as the pronoun’s
antecedent. A pronoun
should always refer to a clear and definite antecedent. For example, in
this sentence ("Socrates tells Euthyphro that he doesn’t know
what piety is."), who does the pronoun
"he" refer to, Socrates or Euthyphro? Avoid writing sentences
like this.
Lack of verb/pronoun
agreement.
A singular antecedent (one that would take a singular verb)
is referred to by a singular pronoun
(e.g., "A philosopher cares for his soul.")
A plural antecedent (one that would take a plural verb)
is referred to by a plural pronoun
(e.g., "Philosophers care for their souls.").
Needless shift in
tense. Tense
refers to the form of the verb
that indicates time. In general, tense should remain consistent throughout
a term paper. For example, it’s awkward to write "Meno walks
up to Socrates in the marketplace and tried to start a conversation"
because the tense shifts from present to past. It’s much better to
write "Meno walks up to Socrates in the marketplace and
tries to start a conversation"—the tense stays in the
present tense. Be consistent in tense, and consider sticking to the more
active
present tense throughout your paper.
Poor choice of words.
The writer has heard a word that sounds impressive, or which sounds like
it would fit in the context of the sentence. Unfortunately the word chosen
does not have the meaning the writer thought it had. Though the effect
is often comic, it does not impress. Avoid fancy or foreign words. Always
use a dictionary if you’re
not sure of a word’s meaning.